Stories to Smile About

I’ve neglected to write about a couple of stories that I found quite amusing and I’m taking the time now to tell them. The second story is similar to my experience of helping 4-year olds change out of their PE clothes, but has a few other funny parts. As you know, children can be quite entertaining and when you work with them as teachers and nannies do, the opportunities to laugh come up quite often. For me, working with children in another culture has brought even more amusement to my days!

Wee-Wee at Grafton Square
After picking up Matilda and Anna from school one afternoon, I asked them if they’d like to go to the park. They both gave me quizzical looks and the older one, Matilda informed me that ‘the park’ is much to far to go after school. Apparently, to them ‘the park’ is Clapham Common – a large park ½ mile away. The park I was referring to was just a block from their school, and even though it is a park, they don’t call it that. The call it by its name… Grafton Square. I’m already confused, but apparently with so many small and large parks in the area, we must use the names of the parks in order to clear things up! J Okay, so there we are swinging (I taught them what an ‘under-doggy is), playing ‘It,’ otherwise known as ‘tag’ in the States. The youngest, Anna says to me in an urgent voice, “I have to go WEE!” I reply with the, “O.K. then lets head home, so you can use toilet.”
“NO! I don’t want to go home! I’ll just go wee by the tree.”
I’m thinking, WHAT? Are you crazy? This park is one small square block, surrounded on all sides with housing. There is a fence, but it is clearly there to simply keep kids IN, not to provide any sort of privacy. There are a few bushes, but it’s the middle of winter, so they have barely any leaves. The trees around are all tall skinny ones, with no foliage or coverage to hide a small girl who intends to go wee by them.
Therefore, I say, “No, Anna, I think it would be best if we go home to go potty.”
She wants to know what potty is because it isn’t a term in the British language, so I rephrase and tell her that it is another word for wee. She whines that she is “bursting and must go now, and besides, mum lets me go by the tree. Everyone does it when they are at Grafton Square and have to go!”
I give in… “O.K. Pick a tree, Anna.” She, of course, picks one right in the middle of the park, where every one can see us. Thankfully it wasn’t a very busy day. None-the-less, this little 3-year old hikes up her layers of jacket, vest, and jumper and waits for me to pull down her tights and knickers (undies). I dutifully do so, then reach down to hold her up by the legs as I’m sure my mom and dad did for me when I was in the woods, camping and had to go potty. Except that we aren’t in the woods camping… we’re in the middle of the town at a park! She finished weeing, drips dry, and I bundle her back up… looking to the right and left to find out if I’m going to get arrested for indecent exposure of a 3-year old. Thankfully there are no siren lights blaring, so we head back to our game if ‘It.’
After thought: Yesterday, when we went to Grafton Square again, I heard another child tell his mom, “I have to go wee!” I thought to myself – I’ve got to watch this! He headed over to the nearest shrub, dropped his trousers and his boxers all the way to his ankles. When he finished, he pulled up the boxers and started running back towards the play toys before he trousers were even up! I must say, even though I’m still not accustomed to using a tree or bush as a toilet in the middle of a park, it sure was nice to know that I wasn’t the only adult allowing the child to become ‘one with nature.’

Changing in Year One
I was supply cover for ½ day in Year One (ages 5-6) yesterday and the morning went wonderfully. We completed maths, literacy, and geography without a hitch. Then just before going to lunch, the children had to change for swimming. I asked the teacher’s assistant about the procedure for this, and she explained that the children get their swimming bags, take off their uniforms, the boys put on their trunks and the girls their costumes. They put their PE clothes over the top, and pack their school uniforms in their swim bag. ‘Okay,’ I think to myself. ‘I know that boys wear swim trunks, and costumes must be the girls’ swim suit. But do they do it right here in the classroom?’ I ask and the answer is unequivocally, YES. This should be interesting…
Some students are no-nonsense about it. They take off their sweaters or cardigans, ties, button down shirts, etc. And in no time, they’re getting into their swim suit. I shockingly and hilariously find out that the boy’s trunks are green Speedos! J Yeah, laugh while you imagine me helping those boys change! The girls all wear purple ‘costumes’ and though some students do well at changing on their own, some have a bit more trouble. Velcro shoes are difficult for them, not mechanically, but in terms of focusing long enough to complete this hysterical task! Eventually we finish with about 5 minutes of handwriting to do before washing up and heading off to lunch, at which time my day at school ended and I headed out to eat lunch and pick up the girls I nanny. What a morning!